What Your Inner Child Has to Do With Your Business

We’ve all heard of the inner child.

That undying need to play and have fun, even when we sometimes shouldn’t.

But the inner child is more than that.

Your inner child is how you view the world.  As a child, you learned things,  either from your parents, family or outside stimuli like TV or movies, and it was forever ingrained on your brain. These things, you took them as truth. How could you not? You were only a kid!

And these truths, these beliefs, unless someone told you otherwise, you carried them around your whole life.

They still affect how you think, act and react. Especially when it comes to yourself.

For example:

  • If you heard children should be seen and not heard, perhaps you still feel the need to keep quiet and not voice your opinions.
  • If someone told you that you were shy, you likely still feel like you are, maybe even using your shyness as an excuse to NOT do things.
  • If you had a negative experience with other kids not liking you, you’re likely pretty scared about not being liked or accepted.

And my personal favorite (cause it fucked me up for years):

  • If someone told you that you couldn’t do something or you weren’t good at something, I’ll be damned if you really believed you could.

And these core beliefs that you’ve always thought to be true also carry over to your business.

How Your Inner Child Affects Your Business

Basically, your inner child (and you as an adult) takes these beliefs as the hard core truth. These beliefs end up showing up in your business in multiple ways.

For example:

  • Not being seen and heard can show up as a fear of really putting yourself out there. So can the idea that you’re too shy.
  • Worrying about what others think or not being liked can show up as worrying about your knowledge,  your courses, your prices, not telling your friends and family what you’re doing, agonizing over every unsubscribe or unfollow. It can also show up as a need to sell out, an effort to make sure people like you and your business.
  • Thinking that you can’t do something can show up in over-trying, or not trying at all. Over-giving, or not taking any action. Also, the fear that you won’t be able to get clients results, because it would affirm that you can’t.

Going even deeper into this, as a child looks to a parent for approval, your inner child can project her needs onto your clients.

These show up in ways you’ve probably never thought were inner child needs. For example:

  • You over-give on the free stuff (and don’t offer enough ways for people to actually pay you) because deep down, you want people to like you.
  • You help your clients more than your program states you will, because you want your client to adore you. But this over-giving is just taking away your own valuable time and money.
  • You aren’t completely honest with clients because you don’t want to offend or hurt anyone. But not being truthful is possibly hurting your client’s results.

These behaviors are actions that stem from things you’ve learned as a child. They stem from fear. And they’re not serving you or your clients.

Here’s the thing.

And no one can make yourself see you have these beliefs. And no one but you can change them. Because its not about your clients or your business. They’re about you.

Without getting into the woo woo part of inner child work, take some time to really think about the things you were taught as a child, either intentionally or unintentionally.  And really consider if these things are serving you out hurting you and your business.

 

Comments

  1. Awesome post. Thank you very much, Corine, for writing this. People tend to downplay a lot about how adversity in childhood affects them once they get big. It really leaves scars underneath you. I have experienced adversity and it still affects my confidence and as you’ve said my behavior with clients. People need to acknowledge this and let go.

    • Corinne says:

      Hi Venu,

      I agree, people do downplay it and I think a lot of times, don’t really understand it. We all have programming from when we were a child, and I think we all experienced something that changed us somehow. Yes, some of us had harder times than others, but who am I to judge how your experiences affected you?

      While some people move past certain things without blinking, others will take that same situation, process it, and somehow be affected from it for life.

      And you’re so right, once we acknowledge and understand, we can let it go and move past it

  2. Hi Corinne,

    Great post and I used to be one of those bloggers who gave everything away. While I still give away 98% of my content in hopes of helping others. I now offer products and services that people can buy.

    I think one of the things that holds most people back from offering paid products and services is they think that they don’t have the skills or knowledge to offer those services. At least that’s how I used to think.

    However, I was able to build up a freelance business with my current WordPress skills. Even though, I am moving away from freelancing, I almost let my fear of lack of knowledge hold me back from offering services.

    Thanks for sharing this article, I know that it will help so many people start realizing that they need to pay attention to their inner child and the thoughts that are holding them back.

    Have a great day 🙂

    Susan

    • Corinne says:

      Hi Susan, Thanks so much for stopping by!
      I totally agree with you, I think many people don’t immediately offer something because they think they need more experience. But everyone knows more than someone else, and waiting is just a waste of time!

      I hope you have a wonderful week!
      Corinne

  3. This is a great post Corinne! I never thought to make the connection. I relate to yours as well….being told I couldn’t do something or I wouldn’t be good at it. I never thought that could be the base of my fears…you really got me thinking here.

    Thanks for sharing this!

    Cori
    Cori Ramos recently posted…Mother’s Day Gift Ideas For Mom BloggersMy Profile

    • Corinne says:

      Thanks Cori! I think for most of us, the things we were taught as a child still affects us, whether they are good or bad. I mean, we were kids, of course we took what we learned as truth, right?

      Thanks for reading. I really appreciate you my friend.

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